6/08/2009

so i was the lucky one, reading letters not writing them, taking pictures of anyone i know

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i feel bad about everything* and i have few thoughts of my own.


* =
- future and all of it's possibilities that seems so exciting that i can only feel bad about it because it scares me
- books and music and films because i don't indulge (probably a wrong word but i just can't find the right one so i'll settle with this one) them in great amounts and that makes me feel so uncultivated
- kids, pancakes, west side story, romances, giving your phone number written on a match box to a stranger that asked you to dance and didn't taste good at all and who told you his name though you weren't interested in hearing it, clothes, hair, skin, sleeping, walking, summer, rooftops, lotion, showers, mirrors, bruises, bruising.

because these are even nice things but i manage to stress about each one of them in one way or another. today indeed i manage to feel bad about everything everything. i'll get a grip of myself tomorrow or next year.

6/06/2009

a heart that beats as both siphon and reservoir

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i spent two weeks in paris last fall.
boys were skinny and confused just like they ought to be.

addressed to another skinny and confused boy:
i listened to jeff buckley's "morning theft" with my eyes closed, loud, in the dark, just like you told me to. and yes, it really is magnificent. i also watched quadrophenia and the cider house rules, like you told me to. they too were great. the latter made me cry twice.

6/03/2009

me ei olla mitään teinejä enää

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ja meidän piti mennä kouluihin
ja piti pitää tätä hommaa pystyssä
jos sä et mene kohta kouluihin
jos sä et tee mitä ne odottaa
niin ne ei kato sua hyvällä, beibe


post scriptum: these are raw-versions because nowadays i rarely edit any photos due to QUANTITY OVER QUALITY and i am just too damn lazy okay.

6/02/2009

but i just cant get enough electric shocks i want to buy a lighthouse and ride a giraffe on the rocks hey i dont give up

I came to think of the day exactly a year ago and how I never thought that 365.242199 days later I'd be here because I thought that I'd always stay there like that with that boy.

But right now i'm just feeling like this:
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about it all. Now I am living the type of life that I was secretly longing for all the time.

5/30/2009

scan the skies for signs of heaven heaven, what use is heaven for you? spend your time instead spend your time with us, us

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sometimes you go on spontaneous visits through a jungle.
like i did on monday.
like i will today.

Mother, i missed you, am i goodlooking?
Linda, i am trying to reach you but i don't have any money in my phone.
Aleksi, i think you are dissing me but that's okay cause i don't really care enough for our friendship.
Nea, i am going to come to your graduation celebration, without a gift though. You were my best friend once upon a time.

5/28/2009

now i got a VCR, if we put our hearts in twenty thousand tiny jars they'd never leave their homes, we can get along we can get along

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breakfast is my favourite meal of the day.
and it is even better if it is accompanied by eddie izzard.

5/27/2009

the tragedy starts from the very first spark, losing your mind for the sake of your heart

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see MSTRKRFT tomorrow and be completely broke or have some money and do nothing with it? this decision is too difficult to make huh.

today it's been real rainy and i've been eating much müsli and drinking much green tea. we also made shelters with the kiddos so we could hide from the rain and responsibilities. (though i must let you know that the three of us did run in the rain a little)

5/21/2009

ja ne kysyy mikä mulla on kaulassa, en mene hämilleni sillä tiedän että parissa päivässä se on poissa yhtä varmasti kuin sä

mutta päivän tai kaksi annan kaikkien luulla sua mun rakastajaksi.













































































































































































i found myself watching this film. it was so lovely that i thought that you should see it too.

päivä on upea teen piruetin se on totta lasikaupan edessä kompastun sinuun lähden kahville

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emma made some applepie for me and even though the applepie was so fail, the company sure wasn't.

today we're gonna see scandinavian music group @ Tavastia. happyhappyhappy.

Also, in Finland they say that if today (on "helatorstai") you don't have a lover then you won't have a lover all year. I am going to make sure to keep them all potential lovers far far away.

5/11/2009

in the middle of the summer i'm not sleeping cold wind blowing, in the middle of the night they try to find me but i'm still driving

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and if they ever find me tell the papers cold wind, cold wind, cold cold wind blowing, cold wind blowing, cold wind blowing, cold wind blowing, cold wind blowing.

5/03/2009

and i was strong strong in the sun i thought i'd see when day is done now i'm weaker than the palest blue oh so weak in this need for you

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and i quoted this song just because i know how much you adore these lyrics. last verse is my favourite. but that's probably obvious.


largest second hand market in finland, sunshine, picnic, wine, grapes, baguette, cheese, bubbles, cooking, films, sleeping, pancakes for breakfast. cosyness ok.

4/29/2009

i fell into the street, poison in my veins, clamber to my feet and into the night again

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long time no update. nicolina was here and messed up my life wonderfully, then i went to eskilstuna to mess it up even more. not always that wonderfully.

spring is breaking my heart. beauty and happiness often do.