suddenly a cloud must have cut a hole in my head, when i was tangled all in your words, how quick to forget we are.

tell me how I finally figured it out,
that now you're caught in the things
you said you'd never do.
and now its starting to show
like her skin fell out out of her clothes,
she's got a list of moves to make.



you're so sure i'd be just fine here.

what's broken can always be fixed, what's fixed will always be broken.

i booked a time at an expensive hairdresser.
"well my hair is sort of long and btw nothing at all has been done to it for over six months. and i don't have any wishes on which of your hairdressers should cut my hair. i'm giving quite free hands so if anyone's feeling very creative i'll have him/her."

monday the 2nd, 13.30. waaay!

kids will be skeletons

emil&rasmus.
an au pair could barely ask for better kiddos.

louise louisa

today
i thought of a boy whose name consists of 4letters.
i pondered upon life in the sauna for 30minutes.
i decided to get rid of 5habbits.
i got annoyed at 2kids.
i jogged 8km.

watched how you reached for your things to leave, to walk a block to the car that would take you home to where you belong.

juho and i spent some time
at suomen linna,
at the most dangerous park in finland
and at the train station.

always falling to the floor, softer than it was before

silloin tällöin marraskuussa voisi itsesääliin hukuttautua.
// atkins

i'm medicated how are you

knitting. drawing. ultra bra. placebo. brave new world. msn. candy. chocolate. photos. kiddos. bread. sauna.

this is what my life has become.
and i am very satisfied with it.

your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out

i am rather excited and at the same time scared and now all in a sudden confused and i want someone to tell me how to act and which words to say because it feels like there is a mean translator right at the tip of my teeth that makes all my thoughts and genuine emotions just swim out of my mouth as idiotic sentenses and word-vomit.

but it makes me feel less lonely

Family Portrait
nikola råbban milja nicolina kratzlainen toto cat



:*

he walked down a busy street staring solely at his feet clutching pictures of past lovers at his side

I can't recall ever being as ill as I have now been for the last couple of days, almost a week. This constant headache, 40 degree fever, streptococcus, ear ache, throat ache swallowing is torture, whole body hurts. If I'm not freezing I am sweating and vice versa.
On top of this all I have had my retakes this week (thank god last one was today!). I have aaalllll the freetime on earth, and now when I actually would have things to do I get this nasty little visitor? Isn't that ironic.

But my mom is lovely and takes such good care of me, I feel like five again.

tummenevan taivaan alla hysteerinen tyyni kaipuu

it was a blue-shaded day.




And I am so glad to have her as my mother.

wake me up, only nightmares take me in, through these walls the winter bites, a draft from all sides

worrying is the breathing that you need, so there won't be far to fall, you mustn't climb tall.

i didn't like yesterday, i hate this day.

so I found myself in Paris

So I found myself in Paris.
Got home last night, hadn't slept for 48 hours.
Almost fell asleep, drowned in the bathtub.


Haven't yet had the time to transfer all photos from memorycards to computer so more photos at a later date!

blue to grey, grow up and blow away

Today:
* wake up at 10.00
* get myself to town by 11.20
* lunch with nicolina at café kaka (we split a greek sallad, she paid)
* into monki which was open for the first time today. we split a shirt (400/2 = nico and i are both the owners of the one-size shirt and we take turns in using it.)
* mom-time
* protein-powder (the one you use to make smoothies)
* training
* tv
* sowing (result: a new black mini skirt and a scarf)

And now I am sitting here listening to Metric.
I am ok.
Maybe a little filled by self-loathing.

I try to tell myself at night when the dusty old pictures are all out of sight that I think I will be alright. Just don't come closer morning light.

.hard rain.

Aa oui, here is the summary for popaganda 2008. One of the best festivals of my life indeed.


* oh-so-long-kill-me-300-meters-long-que. not cosy. in with the wine and cigarrettes.
* but three managed to see shout out louds! <3
* after-glow of shout out louds resulted in me and nico becoming animal godfathers. "oh free t-shirts?! where do i sign??"
* freaky stalkers
* spending time outside the festival area med toto och råbban avec wine and passoa and cigarrettes and knitting.
* going home early :)
* store
* yummy juice
* whore cat <3
* annahannamalin-time ^^
* very busy skanstull!
* fantastic skills of finding råbbies house!
* garlic bread and moccha-cake-thing-without-moccha-i-think
* oh-so-nice breakfast. clouds.
* sickla kaj and brother and ben and jerry's
* towards home avec jeniferever