it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie

yesterday i was as a statist helping out my fantastic classmates who are making a movie. as soon as it cleared up (after an eternity of heavy heavy rain) it was time to shoot.





(and as i was holding hands with my boyfriend in front of the camera i acknowledged the fact that imagining ones life and love movielike does make the whole world momentarily somewhat more vibrant and sparkly)

and she says i like long walks and sci-fi movies

my favourite place to shop at is humana when they have their 20kr and 10kr days. from there i found this shirt and that jacket plus fifteen other things. åh love cheapo clothes. my pickiness with clothes always decreases as the price does.

so i wanna get myself attached, to something bolted down. so these winds of circumstance won't keep blowin' me arround.

one evening a year ago. angry straightedge boys, girls detached. but it was a nice evening i tell you.

laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night

Johanna turned 20 and this we celebrated with a picnic. it was cosyness, especially when we danced to "home" (like we so very often do) and when at söderkällaren they couldn't/wouldn't play even just one of our wish-songs so we decided to take that boombox and listen to the songs we were longing to hear. and so we danced some more!

and the wind in the trees are all schuungschuung and the trains that pass by are all schdudungschdudung and you and me are like lets go out for a walk

the car ride was long and we got stuck on long ques of people in cars escaping stockholm like us



me and edwin wanted to take a long walk but as i got scared of people with horses we turned around and it was a short walk.
washed my make up off in this:


mainly drank this:


spent two afternoons like this:




(lying on grasslevel is nice when you can look through the grass and imagine to be shrinking just like alice does)

at least i know who i was when i got up this morning, but i think i must have been changed several times since then

we allowed ourselves to escape from stockholm to my brothers summercottage.
on the car i thought that this was one childhooddream come true, going on a summercottage with ones family. and it was. the whole weekend we spent eating white bread and drinking earl grey with honey, playing monopoly (i won for the first time in my life!), reading aloud books to eachother on a picnic blanket (i read alice in wonderland for him and he read some old ghoststories). and the city sounded violently loud when we got back home.

YouCam

i take lots of pictures with YouCam. Lately mainly of myself like this:


i think everybody should pose without shame for that webcam. one looks always prettypretty with high contrast and low quality camera and there is no need for stress due to feeling embarrased like when a friend takes pictures. it's good for that self-confidence. i promise. plus after over a year you'll have about 600 pictures of the year that passed. a fantastic diary. a good way to remember days like the one today:



now i returns back to andré bazin and the diving bell and the butterfly hejrå

jagärlucyintheskyjagärhögtövermolnenosvosv

susanna got an apartment in söder. she has a roof terrace and from there you can climb on the actual roof and see over stockholm.

i’m not stupid i understand that it would be convenient if i was better at conversation

months ago i asked edwin about his dreams. afterwards he asked about mine. "soft icecream with colorful sprinkles at kungsträdgården in sunshine". and that's exactly what i got a week ago. happiest me.

today i've spent the day listening to chopin and reading filmtheory. head got thick so i got lost into lime crime and ordered three lipsticks instead. happiest me.

plus that i'm still not sure i'm fond of this stockholmish you-must-force-yourself-upon-people-and-into-conversations-if-you-want-to-be-noticed-and-liked.

trolley, bruises, paramedics, disco ball shirt, permanent marker, white sofa, detroit techno, gymnastics

on saturday i packed with me my pocket camera and a blanket because we made a spontaneous decision to take off to Uppsala to celebrate valborg since half of stockholm was planning to do that anyways and you know we do like to do like them others

Johanna was wearing a shirt that made her look like a discoball. Thanks to that many talked to us and she ended up on somebody's fashion blog.


this picture doesn't show it well enough but in the sun we had disco everywhere thanks to that shirt


we tested how it felt like being part of a circus. we weren't that good at it but fun it was!


of course somebody found a trolley



i thought i was already past that age and i'm happy to notice i'm not


the evening we basically spent in a student corridor and it was very absurd and people went bananas but it was sort of an adventure anyway.

and look i even made a crappy video with windows movie maker!
i woke up with arms full of bruises, probably got them during a cheerleading stunt we did or while doing cartwheels or when the trolley fell down. i even heard that people threw furniture down from the balconies. ivan and pals slept on a random white sofa we had seen in a forest. max fishburger and fries never tasted as good. almost like some rockstar life for that one night.

västerbron i hate walking on you

one night we decided to take the bus to västerbron and take night pictures and smoke self-rolled cigarettes. with my big hood and the camerastand on my shoulder i felt like the reaper. i thought about BD. all them lovelocks made me sad.