we must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read

one of the first evenings in helsinki was one of the nicest. i watched as Lille and my boyfriend made food, smoking cigarettes by the window (far down there were trams and cars) in that fantastic kitchen. felt like my heart could swell up and blow up of the loveliness. and i guess we listened to "at the bottom of everything" like fifteen million times because Lille told it was Ivan's favourite song now and I got happy because I knew it was me who played it for him for the first time.